ugh

it has been a pretty long day. It started out awesome. I woke up after ten hours and i got some important work done. I went into Master's today feeling pretty good about life. Then we had good director time and a good class. Then we got into setting up for the night. I realized tonight some of my frustrations that seem to arise when i work with people who i dont usually work with. When i work with Youth, things are normal. I know how our team works together and i generally trust the decision making of my team mates. But then i work with other leaders. They are all excellent but i just dont get them as well as i get Daniel, for example. I get asked to do something and i deeply ask "WHY?"This isnt a big thing by any means. For the most part, i have no problem working with other church leaders and it is me that has the issue, not them. I need to learn to work with people that arent "my people." Also the set up process was stressful. It was a lot and because we dont do it every week it didnt run as smoothly as weekly set up does. but we got it done and it was a good night. I got a chance to talk to Jason Fitch which i always enjoy. We did tear down and it was equally as stressful as set up. It just felt like there was so much to do. I am not complaining...just venting. then i got home and i watched the Phillies win the World Series. I am not into baseball a lot but this is a huge deal. I grew up in the Philadelphia area and i have been watching news stories for years about Philly fans being disappointed...again because the Phillies/Eagles/Sixers/Flyers choked when they should have done it. But this year they did it. IT was bigger than even the world series. I am happy. Hopefully the Eagles can get one too this year. Thank you for reading and listening to me complain. No Spiritual application today...sorry but sometimes life just leaves you needing sleep.

i didnt realize..

how much Jocey's story still affected me. I talked about recently and i cried so hard that i couldnt talk. I didnt really even know Jocey well. I had an odd perspective on the whole situation. I cared deeply for the family in their grief but i didnt know Jocey. That week, i fought alongside a powerful church that unapologetically asked for the miraculous just so that i could talk to Jocey and met this amazing person that i kept hearing about. So we prayed. We had faith. We fought harder than i have ever fought. We had a prayer room on thursday with more energy then i have ever felt. I can still hear Brooks Page in my head singing "This is where it counts." It was beautiful...all of it. But then i attended her funeral. She died. We saw again that we are not God. It hurt. I remember working on thursday and looking up at God and deeply asking why? It tore me apart because i had to deal with a side of God tat i dont really like. This is the side that is infinitly beyond us and operates beyond our reason. We baptised 97 people that week, but like Job's restoration, that didnt do it for me (thanks J for this freeing discussion on Job). But this story has had wings. We talked about it last wednesday in prayer because we were singing how great is our God(our youth sang it as they let go of their friend). Angie Rife got up and talked aboutI her daughter. Then someone else did, then i did. I cried really hard as i spoke and i couldnt do it. I could barely speak through the tears. I felt tha God was going to continue to heal through that story and it motivated people to ask boldly in prayer, The result was a rediculous amount of emotional healing that night. George Donaldson looked at Alan that night and said I love you to his brother for the first time. It was amazing and i take no credit. MY whole plan for prayer got blown up by Gods plan. He wanted to heal people that night and i was praying for change until we...changed. I heard even more stories resulting from Jocey. Someone even told me that as they heard Ricky share, they felt God's love for the first time. This is so amazing. Jocey, your story isnt done healing people. It has left a wake and it has wings.

Sick

I am back to the blogging business. I love doing this and it is just a matter of finding time. i am sick in several ways. For one i am actually physically sick. I have a cold and it is terrible. For two, i am sick of this stupid election. I understand the importance but i feel like i eat dinner with Barack and John on a daily basis. Also, i am asking God to make me sick of the state of the world. I have been big on this recently. What will it take? understand i am talking to myself mostly but if this hits you then do what you will. I say i want the wold to change but i would be okay if it stayed the same. I ask for a revolution but i dont really care that much. I want to care but i dont. I have been thinking about revolutions and the first one that comes to mind is America..."Give me Liberty or give me Death." that is commitment. That is intensity. That is a heart that has rebelled. This isnt passive resistance or a so so attitude. This is serious rebellion. When will this happen for us as Christians. Think about lets say Pornography. Our first thought is that it is bad and needs to not happen anymore. It causes terrible permanent spiritual scarring for the audience and performers. It is a sick industry that tears down the image of God in Women who are beautiful and could change the world. We know this but if porn goes on for ten more years, will we be upset? will we care? will we say "oh, Satans always gonna get his foot in?" or will we have the spirit of a revolutionary? Imagine if our forefathers would have said "ahh, we are always going to have taxation without representation, no need to fight that, its too big." Unbelieveable right? and yet this is our attitude. We need to fight and not be satisfied with things like porn for another second. That is the spirit that changes the world. That is a heart that says, "Give this world liberty or give me death." IT doesnt take long to find places where liberation is necessary, but do we care enough?

Frustrated

I cant stand the way people act about politics. i mean i tried to ask an aquaintance of mine from high school why he supported obama and i went on to explain that i dont not like either candidate very much. he responded by saying if i dont agree with him i should keep my opinion to myself and not waste his time....wow. i mean cant we talk about htis stuff without being children. i am frustrated by this crap. side note i will probably go third party this year. tthe phrase narrow minded is funny, especially when you look at the people who use it. The kid that said this stuff to me would probably call me narow minded because i am a christian and i believe there is a standard of how we should all live. I suppose that is a narrow minded view but i love people regaurdless of weather they hold it or not. i love people before they agree with me. Unbelivers seem to hate people until they agre with them. Its almost as if we call anyone who doesnt agree with us narrow minded. this is a rant and i realize this. But look at the people who use the phrase narow minded. Most who say it are pretty narrow minded themselves. some people are so narrow minded that they assume everyone is that way. So there are two tracks...agree....disagree. This is rediculous

I am done i think

Addison

Oh how i love sundays

so today was great. The eagles won and everyone in their division lost to teams that are absolutely terrible.  it was all very great. I cannot wait to see the Kadish or Redding Families. OH the trash talk. I also watch EMHO (Extreme makeover Home edition tonight. The woman on there was awesome. She had a water bed and gave it to a friend so that her friend could have a bed. The catch was hat it left her sleeping on what wasnt even a full sized couch...WOW. I am pretty sure this lady wasnt a christian and yet she did this deed and has been a 1st grade teacher for 29 years. I find myself humbled by the people i wouldnt expect to be humbled by, but perhaps that is why it is humbling. You cant really be humbled by someone who you know has it more together than you. You expect that. You are humbled when you realize that your perception of someone was wrong and that they are actually much closer to the kind of stuff God wants than you are. Anyway, i was supposed to work today but i couldn't because i am not registered for training yet because i wasnt in the system in time on friday...whatever...ended up being a great day. Well i am talking to ritter now so peace out 

watching mad tv and they are making fun of obama and mccain...how mccain is old and obama is using only the words hope and change interchangeably....pretty funny and clean.

so i had a pretty great day today. We had a meting about vision for kids ministry and i am pretty sure this is the most i have never been this excited about an upcoming ministry opportunity . I am still working on the idea of ministering out of myself. Man it is so easy to fall into. Man, God has been tearing my heart up recently, in a good way. Like i was listening to "Jesus, YOu're my super hero" today in the car and i was near tears...to a silly kids song. I was also noticing the beauty of a song called "let the children come." Like just listening to "Jesus music" can be so good. I am also noticing how negative Christians can be. I think Jesus sees the way i and other christians act and he says "wow, they are missing th point. WHY CANT WE BE UPLIFTING PEOPLE WITHOUT IT BEING ODD. why cant i say to people..."wow, you are a really great person and i love the way you do things." Imagine how much people would want to be in the Christian world if we were people who made people feel happy that they were them. We tell people to be confident and know who they are in Christ but we don't speak to them like jesus would. We use this thing called sarcasm...which is satan's lies dressed up in comedy. He sems to be incredible at that. Look at the sins he's done it with..homosexuality, conventional mairrage, virginity before mairrage, what about going to hell (anybody thinking AC/DC on this one). Satan has taken positive speech and made it wierd so Christians beat each other up with their mouths. I beat people up with my mouth. Imagine how much more ppl would want to be around us if we were uplifting people. for those of you who are close to me, call me out on being negative because i want to change.

On a personal note, i made the mistake of drinking two coffees and a fountain soda at sheetz today and driving home i was physically shaking from my high caffine levels. Big mistake, i will never do that again. I started my training today and it was great. I am excited to work there and i hope to finally use my job for God and not just treat it like i hate it. (side note: i am amazed at the trash they show on TV, i am trying to relax and watch it and everything is really trashy, i am not one to complain about mild crap , its tv, but it really is bad like stuff i didnt even know they were allowed to show, the stuff that messes with your spirit) But yes life is really good right now and i am excited that God is teaching me stuff and i am letting him do it without my ife aving to be crazy. Please keep me in prayer. I apologizer for the incredble length of this blog

Well...after one week..

it has been quite a week. Updating blogs is so very difficult. You think you will have time but you dont. So theology has been a very difficult class. We all failed an exam last thursday...all of us. So spiritually, God has shown me the dangers of giftedness more and more. Charity and i had a conversation that was not long enough last night abot the dangers of ministering out of ourselves. It can happen so easily. I am listening to samuel right now and it talks about ho saul was a head above the rest. He was lined up for his job but he did it by himself and it hurt him. God help me to not be a person that sits on my gifts and doesnt trust you. Let me minister by the power of the spirit. To clear up my last blog, i didnt think it was funny that we made too much noise and disturbed Karen Trout. That was not cool and i know that. I apologized to Karen Trout later and let her know that i was sorry for disturbing her. Now that that is out of the way, youth group was awesome last night. It finally felt like things were breaking. Youth were involved in worship and it felt different. It was excellent and i loved it. I have just really been enjoying life lately. Please pray for me that i am able to know what i want God to do in my life and chase after it with everything i have. But yeah, Life has been really great. I feel like i am learning a lot and i feel liek i am getting to know more about the bible and God. That side of things has really been great

back in the blogging game

so i am back. I am psyched...anyone else psyched? so yeah i had a pretty excellent day today. Thursays are notoriously long here at GMC. coming off of wednesday night into early thursday absolutely kills. It is all good though. Today in Theology we watched "everything is spiritual." it is a Rob Bell dvd and it has some good stuff on it. watch it sometime. i realized today that religion really is totally faith. sometimes i get to thinking that what i believe has this intense amount of backing and that the truth is unavoidable, and it is, if you have the right perspective. What if you dont believe this book called the bible is true? well then you just debunked most of why i believe in Jesus. So then even to believe the bible is faith. maybe thats why it is impossble to please God without faith. why would you worry about pleasing him if this bible isnt true. well anyway thats the thought i had. i would appreciate feedback on this idea. Help me to see if i am being wrong or if this sounds legit. Also today, i got yelled at by Karen Trout. I apologized later. what happened is that rachel r, rachel b, and i were in the lobby. Rachel r starts to laugh which is loud and Mrs. Trout taked to us about our volume. we said we would settle down and she went away. Then we started being loud again so she started to come back out. When we saw her....we all ran in oppsite directions. It corrected the problem and it was hilarious. well thats all i am going to write today. Good day to you all