What a handsome night

I was thinking about this a couple days ago so forgive me if it is awkwardly communicated. It was friday and it was 50 outside. I texted a friend and i said what a beautiful night and it got me to thing as to why we use feminine adjectives to describe natures beauty. think about it. You would never call a night handsome or rugged or any other male adjectives. No, we say things like beautiful, stunning, gorgeous. Maybe there is nothing to this, but maybe there is. Maybe the best way to describe beauty is to use female adjectiv4es because they are stronger. They touch the soul on a deeper level. maybe this can communicate something to women about how beautiful all of you really are. You are the pinnacle of creation. God's final and most complicated work. You are exquisite, so much so that we describe you and the beauties of nature in the same way. You, women, have the same complexity, the same mystery the same awe inspiring qualities about you that cause people to write poems and songs and stories and even some of the psalms. That beauty is yours, and yours to keep. Do you then see the danger when you give away your beauty to easily, when you dress in a way that invites people into your mystery and lets them share in it for free. Do you see the dangers in giving your vineyard away before it is the right person. You have an infinite complexity and holy beauty about you and it is not to be taken lightly. As SOS says, "My own vineyard is mine to give" when you do not take this responsibility seriously, it is a terrible thing. this is why giving yourself away easily never makes you feel less empty or more beautiful. Your beauty, your complexity, your mystery is yours and it is a gift from your creator who thinks you are wonderful. When you give this away and it is not returned to you in the way marriage returns it, it hurts. When you dress in a way that gives parts of your vineyard away, it hurts. None of these things help you in your quest to feel that your vineyard is enough. Every time yu do these things you are actually leaving less vineyard for yourself. If you have made mistakes in these areas, God will restore you if you want him too. It isn't a burden for him. in fact he wants to do it. He loves you so deeply that he wants to give you a new vineyard if you are not happy with how you have neglected yours. Please do not shrugg this off. It is not a side point but the whole point. thank you for reading this

Addison

Healer...

Verse:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

Pre-Chorus:

I trust in You
I trust in You

Chorus:

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

[Repeat Verse]

[Repeat Pre-Chorus}

[Chorus]

Bridge:

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands


I am listening to this song right now...I just watched the CNN story about him lying about having cancer. For those of you not familiar with the story let me bring you up to speed. The writer of the song wrote this song and along with it wrote a story. The story was of how he had cancer and the doctor told him to go home and die and he went home and penned these words. The song was his declaration that God was in control and held his ultimate destiny in his hand. Beautiful story. Tear jerking. Life changing. Awe inspiring. Wonderful. Unfortunately, it was fictional. The man had lied, supposedly to hide a pornography addiction I don't understand how that makes sense but hey, whatever. So now we are wondering about this song. It is beautiful and excellent and wonderful but has this thing attached to it. I heard someone say that the writer of the song needs to hear his own words now more than ever. Good point. He is in the biggest storm of his life right now. Is nothing impossible? what about now that the world thinks you're some horrible person? Does God hold your world in his hand? This is when these words matter. Not when things are great. anyone who isnt sick can eclare God their healer. That isn't faith. So let us all take these words and use them. Because they speak to all of our souls. Nothing is impossible for him. The bible says he is able to do immeasureably more than we can ask or imagine. WOW. Ler us hear the words of this man and ignore that Satan attacked him and he lost. In the end of the day, him faking a story might write a real one. A story of how God met him like Jacob. Jacob had decieved everyone and was left alone. Sound similar? Then Gos shows up and wrestles him. Jacob is injured. The author of healer will not get out of this uninjured. but then Jacob holds on and says to God, "I will not let you Go until you bless me." He ends up recieving the blessing of God and becoming the father of the twelve tribes. Mike G. (the author of the song) will hae to hold on and trust God. He will have to sing his own words. He will have to wrestle with God and limp away. But in the end of it all, there might be something beautiful. I would ask that you would agree with me in prayer that God would restore this man and give him a real story of God's blessing and excellent mercy. May He write the same stories in all of our lives.

Amen

My focus this year

i have named my year. i am calling it the year of focus. i asked God in the beginning of the year to make me into the man i was afraid to be. i wasnt sure what that meant at the time but i am understanding it more. i am asking God to make me into the person i always mocked. the person who prioritizes well and has their life under control. i now admire that but in high school i kinda felt high and mighty i think because i didn't. So now, weather i have to or not i am going after excelllence. i have named 2009 the year of focus. i plan to expound on this as the year goes on and understand it more as i get into semester 2. i am so excited to really take life by the horns and start to be the person i should be and not the person i can be easily

Going Back To Master's, A break in Hindsight.

I find myself gearing up to return to Gettysburg and i feel an odd way about it. What i mean is that for some reason i cant bring myself to feel anything about it. I just feel totally the same as i have over my whole break. Usually i am excited and ready to roll going out of breaks but i am absolutely nothing about this. I don't foresee it changing either. The last week has kid of flown by and i haven't processed it. So lets see if we can talk through this break a little.

Friday
I got home Friday after the 19th after a workout and packing my stuff up at the deitch house. They have been such an incredible blessing. They called me on Christmas and i realized again how much i deeply appreciate them. I was in a very dark spot before i moved into their house. I didn't really feel like i wanted to keep fighting and stay in ministry at Freedom Valley. I was literally ready to walk out when i called them and then everything changed and i was blessed by this amazing family. It is ashame that the Eagles are playing the vikings, i would like Tim's team (Vikings) to make a much deeper run then getting beat up on in the first round. Two playoff games today, Atlanta Falcons will be playing the Cardinals and the Colts will play the chargers. I think these games will both be blowouts. it think Indy and Atlanta will both roll as wild card visitors. Anyway, after arriving home i spent the night at a friends playing video games and stuff late into the night.

Saturday and Sunday
I repeated the process te next day and actually slept through church because of my bad decisions in terms of sleep. suday afternoon i went to lunch with Kevin and Niki. i forget what happened monday...probably just more video games.

Monday
Monday night i think i went home for the first time though.

Tuesday
then i hung out around the house all day tuesday ...watched wife swap and went to youth group. My friends and i have a tradition of going to applebees on tuesday night after youth group and enjoying 25 cent wings that start at ten. It is amazing i see all of my friends and we relax and talk and catch up and only spend like six bucks for ten wings and soda. It is one of my highlights of being home.

Wednesday and Thursday
i slept in big time on Christmas Eve. After waking up at two i prepared and drove to my sister's house. in Emmaus PA. i spent christmas eve with family and had a wonderful time. Christmas day i went with my sister and brother in law to his family's house. it was a good day of eating and chillin. I went back to my sisters and seont another night with them.

Friday
It was now friday. I was a week into break. I drove home to New Jersey. Friday night i went to the mall and brought a new pair of shoes that i am excited about.

Saturday
i chilled on saturday i think for most of the day.

Sunday
i went to church on sunday and watched football all day. .

Monday
monday i spent the whole day reading Angels and Demons...great book...recommended by Sara Fitch.

Tuesday
Tuesday i played football at noon and i got super sick. i had a twenty four hour bug and it was awful. I went to a friends birthday party that night and stayed the night.

Wednesday
i felt better the next morning chilled most of the day and did New Years Eve at a friend of mine's and mostly at KEvin and Niki's. I stayed at home that night.

Thursday
Thursday i learned some verses for my fifty verse and worte my sermon for tommorrow. Thursday night i just chilled at Seans and watched Eagle Eye.

Friday
I played football on friday. I had a diving catch...i kinda felt like a superstar. Friday night i went to Kevin and Niki's and played Seinfeld Scene It and then went toSeans to close out my break the same way it started.

Today
It is now Saturday morning and that blog helped me so much. i now feel like my break has closure. in closing i know was this break has done for me. it has regeared me and i feel prepared to run to the finish of my Master's Commission career. I think that is why Christmas break is so good. It allows you to hit the ground running. that is all, have written far too much